Conversation starters

This one's for Kaitlyn. I have decided to compile the most normal, friendly, socially-acceptable conversation topics. Feel free to use these the next time you have a social outing, family gathering, or mostly when meeting that special someone's parents.

1. Obama! When I did an internet search for dijon mustard, I was hoping to find a recipe. But instead, I learned something new about our president. Obama likes dijon mustard! With news stories like this, you can talk politics without anything getting heated, since nobody could possibly care that much. (Except for Fox News reporter Sean Hannity, who really really cares.)

www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/07/hannity-attacks-obama-for_n_198851.html

2. Celebrity gossip. Its current, hip, and you can judge famous people for hours without anything getting back to anyone. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are good for beginners. Try "Have you heard Brit's new song? Can you believe it?!" or "I cannot believe that out-of-control Paris Hilton." Your mutual hate towards famous young women will make you and your aquaintance form a deep and lasting bond. Way better than talking about the weather.

www.people.com

3. Your interesting carreer. If you have that, then talk about it and you're all set. But don't worry if you have a shitty job or are like me and have no job. It can still become an exciting topic of conversation (and if you're young, it will become a topic of conversation). The trick is to sound focused, so as to appear that you are working towards something. Pick a hobby of yours and say "I'm hoping to get into ______, but finding a job right now has been really difficult because of the economy." With one statement, you can respond without sounding like a bum and segue into another great topic of conversation:

4. The economy. Who's not pissed about it? It's bad, everything is bad, we're all waiting for it to get better. Maybe a bit depressing and definitely not appropriate if your aquaintances are bank owners or the like, but will get you through an awkward moment. Seriously, at the first sign of an awkwardly long silence, you can sigh and say "This economy sure has been hard." Someone will have a story about it, guarunteed. Once you're good at talking about the economy, you can try to be an optimistic expert to lighten the mood. Try "Things have been getting better, based on a report I read this morning." The report is below.

http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2009/jun/02/hopeful-economic-signs-emerge-data/

5. Pets. I'm noticing more and more that we, as people, like to take living things and keep them in our homes or in boxes and call them ours. Everyone's doing it! If you don't have a pet, ask about their pets. Then sit tight and take in a multitude of stories like how this one time, Fluffy was running around the room chasing a moth and totally smashed 'er face against the wall and it was sooooo cute.

6. Your spoon collection.

That should get you started. Soon, you won't be able to stop small talking, and can take your skills outside of obscure social situations to places like the grocery store or bus stop. Prepare to meet FRIENDS!